Arie's mostly miserable season is coming to an end, and might I say it's actually ... kind of fun? Maybe I'm just being generous because of Monday night's hometown dates episode, which featured all the fun of watching everyday people unfamiliar with "The Bachelor" side-eye the show's premise combined with all the fun of watching Arie sweat profusely. I didn't even know mannequins could sweat! And they say we get nothing from our space program.

The first hometown date goes to Kendall, who immediately takes Arie to her taxidermy museum – don't worry if you're freaked out, Arie; at least it's also located in a creepy warehouse. Kendall shows him all of her dead pets, then decides it's time to go full immersion and brings out some dead rats for them to taxidermy together. It is very odd and pretty gross and also ... kind of charming? I don't know, normally people with this level of weirdness or quirk are long gone from "The Bachelor" by this point, so it's nice to see oddballs nicely represented this deep into the season. She is still almost certainly doomed, though. 

But after the horrors of a shed full of dead animals comes an all-new horror for Arie: meeting the parents. Kendall's feeling confident that her family will like him because he's "compassionate" and also she's being less logical around him ... which is apparently a good thing? Her family, however, is less convinced – mainly her twin sister, who is extremely Los Angeles and all about reading people's energies. As for the energy between Arie and Kendall? She's not impressed, mainly because she's not sure if Kendall is ready for the proposal Arie wants. By the end, the family – low-key a hoot – still seems thoroughly unconvinced by the premise of "The Bachelor," but Arie and Kendall still are happy. 

Then it's off to Wiener, Arkansas, to meet to Raven 2.0's family (fun fact: without trying, all of my notes this week say Raven instead of Tia), but first, they have to go dirt racing because I don't know if you've heard, but Arie likes cars that go vroom vroom. She can barely get her car started while Arie speeds around doing his best "Tokyo Drift" impression. 

Meanwhile, at the Tia family's residence, they're serving up pigs in a blanket for apps, so clearly this family is fun. I wonder if it's law in a town called Wiener to serve little wienies for all meals of the day. Anyways, Tia tells her mom about their latest adventures in Tuscany, and Tia's mom is SCREAMINGLY thrilled about it. You know after the couple left, she nagged her husband about why they haven't gone to Tuscany.

Meanwhile, Tia's brother takes Arie aside and asks him what kind of guy he is. You see, he's read things about him – that he's a player and a party boy and "the kissing bandit." Prove to me you're not that guy, her brother insists, to the complete confusion of Arie. Thankfully, instead of having to return all the kisses he's stolen over the years, Arie tells Tia's brother – and the whole family, for that matter, since they all seem concerned – about what kind of person he is, that he's not that guy and that it's just a nickname he got for being on a dumb show. The family seems to believe him, that he's not the kind of person to date around – impressive considering Arie is literally dating around with three other women at the same time. 

Speaking of which, we're off to not-so-sunny Minneapolis for our third hometown date, this time with Becca. The two head off to an apple orchard where the two pick apples and even launch a couple at a target with a catapult. (Applepult? Catappult? I'll work on this pun.) But after the fun comes the family, who is VERY convinced Becca is not all in on Arie at this point. They all think it's too fast – plus "she's a Minnesota girl," so they would be shocked if she's totally ready to commit to Arie. 

But surprise, Becca arrives home totally ready to commit to Arie, and the family is mildly baffled – namely her Uncle Gary, who's a pastor and essentially Becca's father figure ever since her dad passed away tragically from cancer. Gary also has a cane for maximum intimidation power, perfect for swatting away annoying reality dating show celebs. Despite all their reluctance, however, Gary and the family grow to appreciate Arie. Gary and Arie in particular have a heart-to-heart about her father's passing – he even officiated the funeral, so the sting still hasn't gone away – that Arie doesn't mess up or step all over or say, "I love that," so that's pretty much a win. 

So that just leaves one more family to win over: Lauren B. off on the east coast in Virginia. The two arrive just in time to do some horseback riding and make out in a lighthouse while the sun glows in the background like a romance movie poster. Nicholas Sparks would be very proud. Like every family visit (for a decently entertaining episode, boy was it also repetitive, with each date pretty much playing out the same way), Arie is warned about one particular family member but in the end, they're all won over because "The Bachelor" doesn't want anything real getting in the way of its fake happy ending. Lauren B.'s date, however, comes with a terrific "break a leg and I hope nobody's crabby" pun over a plate of crustacean legs, so she should definitely win now. 

Despite the power of that pun, though, the family is quite crabby, with Arie's arrival met with some solid awkward silences and the first conversation blocked with the two lovebirds sitting a mile away from the rest of the clan. Her dad tries breaking the ice ... by talking about how he's a military dad, a move TOTALLY certain to make a guy feel more at ease. It's so uncomfortable that Arie needs to take a moment to so a brief shirt fanning in a quiet hallway. You can just see Arie's face screaming, "I SHOULD HAVE WORN MORE DEODORANT!" However, Arie manages to win him over during some one-on-one time by mentioning that he once visited the troops in Iraq. Immediately, Lauren B.'s dad is a part of the fan club. 

Her mom, on the other hand, takes a little more work. She spends most of the night setting a personal record for the most condescending side-eyes and asking Arie the tough questions – like, "Hey, aren't you probably telling all of these other women's families the same things?" Arie says he's not (but, as the audience knows, he pretty much is). She's clearly unconvinced about the concept of the show and how somebody can date so many people in so little time and declare themselves in love – and she's totally right. But, like the rest of the families in this episode, she politely permits it by saying something like, "I trust our daughter's taste."

Forget the Women Tell All special; there should be a Family Tells All episode where all four families come together after watching the season and talk about how insane "The Bachelor" is as a TV show – and how even more ludicrous it is as a way to find your significant other. It's clear they all think it's craziness but don't have the heart to say it to their daughters' faces. 

Anyways, after meeting all of their families, Arie has to give one of the women the boot. "I can honestly say this decision is incredibly hard," says the wordsmith, before he leaves the room for a second to think things out and probably ask the producers if he can keep them all around. He comes back ... only to leave again, this time with Kendall to talk about whether or not she feels ready for a proposal. Meanwhile, back in the elimination room, Tia's just got the best facial reactions to Arie's rose ceremony curveballs. Between her great reactions, her ability to give Crystal crap way back when and her general laidback attitude toward the show, she's definitely been the MVP of the season.

Unfortunately, that means nothing when it comes to Arie's heart, and in a mild shocker of an elimination, Raven 2.0 is sent home. I would need a lot more wine to cry watching "The Bachelor," but I will admit that when camera cut to Tia, working through about every step of grief silently on her face before walking out with Arie in tears, I had to talk my eyes out of tearing up. HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL ACTUAL EMOTIONS, "THE BACHELOR"!

In the end, Monday night's episode was the most fun you could probably have watching the same thing happen over and over again: Arie visits family, family is skeptical and protective, Arie says vaguely reassuring things, they say they trust their daughter's choice, go to a new time zone, rinse, repeat. Judging by the promo for the upcoming final episodes, however, things look like they're going to get a lot less predictable – and a lot less enjoyable for Arie.

Gone

Tia, who is just going to absolutely slay on "Bachelor in Paradise." So it was written, so shall it be. 

Contenders

1. Becca K.

This season's smelling like it's going to end with Arie still single – but if it doesn't, I think the winner's Becca K. The two have the best chemistry and the least concerns going into these final weeks. But maybe he picks her, and she goes, "Uh, I'd rather not. Thanks for all the clothes from week one though!" 

Pretenders

1. Lauren B.

Arie clearly thinks they have chemistry together – he's the only one – so maybe they'll go all the way and have a long life of one-word sentences together. But now that Tia's gone, who's Southern-accented boyfriend is knocking at Arie's door and asking for his girl back? Lauren B. is from Virginia ... HMMMMM. 

2. Kendall

I doubt Arie will choose a person who's both uncertain if she's ready for a proposal at this point in their relationship. Also, have we mentioned the literal shed filled with dead animals? I don't think "The Bachelor" will allow its grand, bland happy storybook romance finale to come surrounded by deceased critters. 

Line of the night

The 14-year-old that I mentally am had a lot of giggles when Becca's disembodied voice said, "So you stick it all the way in," during her date with Arie ... only to reveal she was talking about dipping apples into caramel. Some "Bachelor" editor knew what he was doing with that edit – and I salute you.