A couple of weeks ago, we asked readers to send us their best cheese haiku -- or "moo-ku" as our friend the Dairy Lama calls them. Not all of the poems submitted were in the form of a haiku -- usually 17 syllables broken up into three lines of five, seven and five syllables -- but any poem with cheese as the muse is fine by OMC.
Happy Cheese Week, everyone!
I did not love goats
Until I tasted chevre.
Those French, how clever!
Healthy hearts need wine,
Dark chocolate and green tea.
All mine needs is brie.
--Judy Loest
Cheese, wine and crackers
Cheese hard, soft, young, old, white, gold
Tastes so good to me.
-- Melvin E. Wenzel
I like cheesy poofs.
Bright orange stains my fingers
Piss off, they are mine!
-- Amy Grau
American, brie,
Colby, cheddar, baby swiss,
Gouda, ahhh fromage.
--Cardinal Lemoine
Soft, moist and yummy.
I love it squeaky also.
It's my favorite snack.
--Lori Veley
Can we call it cheese?
Ay! Viva la Velveeta
Whiz sprays from a can.
--Avie Cumming
Fantastic fungus
Melted mold, or peeled strings,
Eat delicious cheese.
-- Pope Zypgx I
Gouda and gruyere
Sliced to thinner perfection
Mustard and crackers.
--Jeff Cartier
Fromage in garage
This is not where it belongs
Get it out of there.
--Jeff Cartier
Nutty pale yellow
Milky white with creamy taste
Crusty bread is key.
--Jeff Cartier
Wisconsinites cheese
When fried, beats the freeze of March
Spring will be here soon.
--Jeff Cartier
A slice of Gouda,
a bowl of fruit, and crackers:
It makes me happy.
--The Dairy Lama
Wear it on your head
Pay homage to the Packers
Poor Wisconsinite!
--Cindee Malczewski
Irish dubliner
Complex, hard, tangy and pale
There is no finer
--Kimberly Murphy
Smoked edam's a dream
Brie and pear sweeten the lips
Dip in double cream
--Petra Olsen
Curds, squeaky and clean
Buffalo Mozzarella
Eat me in one bite.
--Avonell Cumming
Red wine in a glass
Perfect evening, kicking back
For me, rochambert
--Katherine Gerhard
Their names escape me
There are so many to tempt
I cannot resist.
--Laurie Marks
Oh regal Roquefort
Brie, gouda, Swiss to feast and
Edam all day long.
--Lynn Winter
Ode to cheese
Mozzarella, gouda and brie
Just what does cheese mean to me?
It's a savory treat loved all over the place,
When I eat it for dinner I don't leave a trace.
Muenster, cheddar and blue
Prepared any way will do.
I eat cheese alone or with other foods,
Constantly changing to match all my moods.
Gorgonzola, colby and Swiss
There's not a kind that I miss.
A meal without cheese is a terrible fate,
That is why I live in the great Dairy State!
--Keely Bell
Wisconsin cheese curds:
How do they pack so much squeek
into tiny cheese?
--The Dairy Lama
Greek Spring
White, salty feta
Crumbled among the salad
Tastes of Spring divine!
Swiss Cheese & Ham
Nutty, smooth in taste
Scattered eyes abound the slice
Paired with ham and mustard.
--Liz Cook
Death by Cheese
I love what kills me.
I'm lactose intolerant.
Who left the cheese out?
--Nikolai Smith
Milwaukee paper
Requests poems about cheese
Stereotype, much?
-- Bill Greve.
Few things give my mouth
The unbridled happiness
Of a squeaky curd.
--Maria Kovats
Limburger's Lament
Alas! The poor offensive one
That rejected hapless wretch
I will sing a song of tribute
to this cheese of horrid stench
There are those that turn their nose
with disgust in an ignorant show
They disrespect my vile-fumed friend
But I walk tall, con mi queso
An ode to the most odiferous
yet delicious tasty treat
A homage to the fromage
Paired with Maibock it can't be beat
So melt yourself Limburger on toast
Like my dad and grandpappy before me
And hoist your glass in glory and praise
I guarantee, it will make you happy.
--Lynn Winter
Velveeta is gross
But secretly I like it
In fondue, on toast.
--Molly Snyder Edler
Like glaciers cheese spreads
'cross the face of my white bread
And melts away stress.
--Molly Snyder Edler
Cheese is the greatest
When from local parts, but please
Beware of Swiss farts.
--Molly Snyder Edler
Cheesy Love Poem
American you were the pillar
In my very first sandwich
But Asiago came along
And taught me a new language.
Colby was a rare one,
He was hard and soft at once;
The opposite of whom came next
My dear cottage cheese was lunch.
His way was always inconsistent,
He couldn't see the path.
And when I told him I loved him,
He couldn't do the math
And let's not speak of my stinky blue stilton;
How he showed me his veins
That night at the Hilton
...or my sweet bit of brie
He insisted that love should be free.
So he oozed as he choosed
And made his cheese art
(...the memories flood back to me!)
And I'll never forget
How he left me for cheddar
Then (to make things even cheesier)
He went ahead and wed her,
and after their fall
When I was chillin with Emmanthal
He left cheddar for gouda
But said he wished he could shoot her.
I said she was fickle; that he
might try her with pickle.
Then off he went ranting irate
That love is much more than a f*cking cheese plate!
--Kaethe Fine
Gouda is ok
Muenster is fine on nachos
But I need cheddar
--Ted Perry
Gouda for you and
Everyone in the world
Just nice Brie for me.
--Chris Van Meter
Oh emmenthaler
Gruyere goat and triple cream
Hard soft and so thick
--Jane Kramer
Inspiration comes
From a large block of cheddar
If you're a sculptor.
--The Dairy Lama
It's not too late to submit a cheese haiku! We hope to have hundreds-- maybe even thousands -- by the end of the year. Just e-mail: poetry@staff.onmilwaukee.com
Molly Snyder started writing and publishing her work at the age 10, when her community newspaper printed her poem, "The Unicorn.” Since then, she's expanded beyond the subject of mythical creatures and written in many different mediums but, nearest and dearest to her heart, thousands of articles for OnMilwaukee.
Molly is a regular contributor to FOX6 News and numerous radio stations as well as the co-host of "Dandelions: A Podcast For Women.” She's received five Milwaukee Press Club Awards, served as the Pfister Narrator and is the Wisconsin State Fair’s Celebrity Cream Puff Eating Champion of 2019.