A basketball reality check for the "Redeem Team"

If you thought Dick Vitale was bad before, you will probably need medication to deal with him this winter.

Now that beloved Coach K has won back U.S. pride with a gold medal in Beijing, the over / under on nightly Vitale valentines to this accomplishment is going to be set at 37.

And that's just for Duke vs. East Carolina.

Now don't get me wrong, I give college basketball's best celebrity endorser / coach all the credit he is due. Full honors, Coach. Please just try to keep the new American Express ads under a dozen, if you can.

I know one thing for sure, and that's Larry Brown's once impossibly over-hyped coaching star has been downgraded to a mere flicker. Let's see ... what has Brown done since winning the NBA Championship with the Pistons in 2004?

Rip his own players at the Olympics en route to a humiliating bronze medal. Check.

Not dispel rumors that he was leaving the Pistons during the 2005 NBA Finals (lost in seven games to San Antonio) which proved a major distraction. Check.

Took "dream job" with the Knicks under Isaiah Thomas. Check.

Approved asinine trades like acquiring Steve Francis and his bloated salary. Check.

Got fired by the Knicks for his 23-win effort and constant criticism of the ship of fools he willingly signed up with at the Garden. Check.

Let the stink clear the room for two years before signing one last NBA mega-deal to coach the lowly Charlotte Bobcats for his fellow Tar Heel family member, Michael Jordan. Check.

I'm going to go out on a limb here. That one won't end happily either. But, it will end -- sooner than everyone thinks.

So what I'm saying here, is you can go ahead and file the "Larry Brown is the Greatest NBA Coach Since Auerbach" in the same round file as "Peyton Manning Will Never Win a Championship."

One thing about the unacceptably narrow victory in the gold medal game has left me perplexed. I know that the rest of the world has "caught up" to the US in basketball. I know that the international rules don't quite highlight the freewheeling, foul-call getting style of our NBA stars. I know that we still didn't bring enough pure shooters to the 5-Ring Dance and it's laughably short three-point line.

No, what perplexes me is this: If our BEST team of NBA mega-stars could only beat a bunch of guys named Fernandez, Lopez, and Garcia, then what would an average NBA team do against them?

Like say, the Cleveland Cavaliers -- middle of the pack Eastern Conference franchise that has had some playoff success.

Would the Cavs stand a chance against Spain? And by that question, I do mean the Cavs WITH LeBron James?

I think simple logic would say "No."

If the Spaniards could hang with a roster so impossibly stacked as this one, then dispatching "'Bron and The Wannabes" should be no big deal.

And don't start with the angle that Pau Gasol (Lakers) and Jose Calderon (Raptors) make Spain good. Gasol was the same whipping boy deemed too soft during the NBA Finals.
Would Spain destroy the Cavs in a best of seven? Answer the question!

I understand how important team "chemistry" is, and I do think that this year's USA Team -- with its three summers of prep work -- paid dividends.

But my God, it's not rocket science. It's basketball. How many summers together does it take for 'Melo and D-Wade to get on the same page for a pick and roll?

While I'm not here to pooh-pooh a gold medal, just because the championship game wasn't a laugher, the following needs to be read into the record.

Here are the salaries of our top-earning Redeem Team members:

Jason Kidd $21 million
Kobe Bryant $21 million
Michael Redd $15 million
Chris Bosh $14 million
Dwayne Wade $14 million
Carmelo Anthony $14 million
LeBron James $14 million

That's a combined $113 million per year, even before we get to expensive roster "accessories" like Tayshawn Prince!

The gold was nice. Congrats. But, let's not get too chesty about it. For that kind of money, you should have been able to win it all playing left-handed (except Redd, of course).