The warm-weather drinking season is nearly here and to a very select few, this means one thing: malternatives.
So, after Googling the word to make sure it was, in fact, a legitimate term, the OnMilwaukee.com editorial staff pooled together to research, sample and report on the best and brightest in the flavored, malt-based alcoholic beverage section of your liquor store's cooler.
Here are the sugar-coated results.
Molly Snyder Edler
Staff Writer
Pick: Mike's Hard Lime
I have a strange affinity for malternatives. I was a big fan of Zima in the early '90s (over ice, with a lemon) and thanks to my hyper-active sweet tooth, there isn't a bottled wine cooler that ever did me wrong. I rarely, however, buy malternatives because I also enjoy beverages that aren't consumed predominantly by teens in basements or parking lots.
I will, however, occasionally pick up a pack of Mike's Hard Lime because they are, just like the label promises, refreshing. I admit I prefer to spike my own limeaid, but occasionally the convenience of the malternatives wins out because I just wanna grab and go.
The key to this malternative, like all malternatives, is it must be ice, ice cold. And by ice, ice cold I mean colder than the bottom of a penguin's feet. Colder than a flag pole in a blizzard. Got it?
Julie Lawrence
Staff Writer
Pick: Sand Creek Hard Lemonade
Unlike Molly, I do not have any kind of real affinity for malternatives, yet I found myself intrigued by Sand Creek's version when I saw it sitting there on the Whole Foods shelf without any of its malty companions. I've been to Sand Creek's brewery in Black River Falls and love its Wild Ride IPA, among others, so I figured I'd give the hard lemonade a try.
For someone who doesn't appreciate the fake, sugary flavor of drinks of this ilk, I found this Sand Creek's to be mild in comparison. That is to say, while it's still packed with sweetness, it's made with real cane sugar and real lemons, giving it an authentic summery taste. In small doses, I found it refreshing.
Drew Olson
Senior editor
Pick: Mike's Hard Lemonade
I've never really sought it out. I'd probably never go out of my way to purchase a six-pack. But, I'm secure enough in my beveragehood to admit that I've enjoyed a few Mike's Hard Lemonades on occasion. Most often, I think the situation arises on a really hot day at an outdoor festival. You've been drinking a lot. You're beginning to get that uncomfortable "waterlogged" feeling. Beers are getting lukewarm as fast as you can drink them. Then, someone comes by and suggests a Mike's. It's cold, crisp, refreshing and -- most important -- a change of pace. We all know the perils of switching liquor in mid-party, but there are times when a Mike's can give you a good breather or set the tone for a night to head down interesting avenues.
Maureen Post
Staff Writer
Pick: Jack Daniel's Country Cocktails
A few years back, Jack Daniel's released a line of fruit-infused malt beverages. Malt beverage or not, I tend to drink these Jack Cocktails the same way I drink whiskey in general; one drink, every once in a blue moon. Formerly a regular fan of the 7 and 7, I occasionally opt for a muddled old fashioned or whiskey sour on a summer day or in an old school lounge. Whiskey seems to fit either occasion. So, just like those classics, these two newcomers, Jack Daniel’s Wildberry Jack or Lynchburg Lemonade, combine whiskey with a tinge of sweet and a dash of sour. There’s a line of five flavor options but I like that these two aren’t cloyingly sweet; just a nice malty refresher on a hot summer day.
Bobby Tanzilo
Managing Editor
Pick: Cider
At bars, I'm pretty much a beer guy, so I haven't tried -- and am not really interested in trying -- many of the malternatives. But cider, which I drink on occasion -- but, again, pretty rarely -- is my alternative of choice. Because I don't indulge often, I'm not that picky about my cider. Strongbow or Bulmers are just fine and so is Vermont's Woodchuck. A long time ago, when traveling often with a band led to more time in bars, I tried things like Zima, which pretty much quashed my curiosity for these "alternatives," which seem to be fabricated more from gimmicks and marketing plans than anything else.
Andy Tarnoff
Publisher
Pick: Twisted Tea
Frankly, if I'm going to drink an alcoholic beverage out of a bottle, I'd prefer that it's beer. However, on the very few occasions that I'm looking for a bottle of something completely different, I'm partial to a hard lemonade, like Mike's. Just a week ago, however, I tried a Twisted Tea "hard ice tea," and I can honestly say I couldn't taste any alcohol in this 5 percent malternative. That's not necessarily a good thing, I guess, since it would be easy to pound a dozen of these, and young kids don't need any other reasons to get into drinking, really. But for a change of pace, this Twisted Tea beats the pants off a girly wine cooler or a Zima -- though be prepared for the ridicule you'll endure from your High Life drinking pals. You've earned it.
