"You don't know, and you'll NEVER know!" Coach Jim Mora, in response to a media question following a tough loss with the Saints.
It's sad, but he's right.
When it comes to really being able to assess what happens on any given Sunday in the National Football League, the average fan has no chance.
Repeat: No chance.
Even with all the NFL Network recap shows, with every angle picked apart by guys like Tom Jackson, we don't know. With a full week of reading every pre-game article in every newspaper in the country, we don't know.
It doesn't matter. Lord football, at the NFL level, is simply unknowable to all but the coaches and players on the inside.
And even they, sometimes, have no idea why their team just got rolled.
Did you ever hear a coach after a tough loss say: "I don't know the answer to that right now, I'll have to look at the film first?"
Part of that is an artful dodge. Like saying "I really would like to call my team a 52-man pile of horse manure, but I'm gonna make up an excuse not to do that right now, given how chafed my ass is as a coach."
The rest of it is actually true. Even coaches need to know why the "Slot-sluggo, fire-right, Omaha-smash" play they called on third and goal, ended up as a 96-interception for a touchdown. Was it the tight end not breaking off his route just deep enough in the end zone? Was it the wideout making a lazy effort to chuck his man-to-man coverage?
Or perhaps the left guard just didn't hear the last-minute audible and missed his block, allowing the defensive tackle just enough room to make the quarterback throw the pass a split-second too early - resulting in the Pick-6 the other way.
I mean, on any given play it could be anything. Anything! Chances are, we as fans sitting on the couch only have a vague idea of why it either worked or flopped.
This week, I read on my radio shows an excellent piece by ESPN: The Magazine called "A Crazy 6 Seconds." It detailed a Peyton Manning touchdown pass to Reggie Wayne against Denver from earlier this year.
Just reading the piece straight through took up more than a full segment on my show, but it was well worth it. Because the article detailed the phone-book thick layers of complexity that goes into NFL plays.
The play in question looked pretty simple at first glance. Yet as the magazine's research proved, it was actually a rich stew of deception, audibles, telepathy, film-study, technique, timing and a little bit of luck.
In fact, once you read something like that, it leaves you amazed that NFL plays EVER work as intended!
Still, I have an appetite to learn this high level football analysis, and I bet you do, too. So where can we go to get it?
Answer: nowhere.
Aside from a few (and we're talking perhaps six per show) plays on ESPN's Edge NFL Matchup once a week with Jaws, Merrill Hodge and Trey Wingo, you almost NEVER get to look at the "coaches film" of an NFL game.
You know, the so-called "All-22" camera, or 11-on-11.
Why is this? In an oversaturated sports media age, how come I can't pay $9.99 a month to subscribe to these highlights in "All-22" mode? How come nobody has sought to deliver this "high level" or "Advanced NFL Football 101" product to the masses?
Every one of us frustrated jocks turned coach potatoes simply YEARNS for more info than Michael Irvin growling at us in cliché-speak while yucking it up with Chris Berman. I can understand on my own that "New Orleans has an explosive offense with Drew Brees."
What I can't get on my own, is a detailed breakdown of HOW and WHY and WHERE they are explosive. What do the Saints do, that frustrates opposing defensive coordinators? What are the basic principles of their offense? Do they script sequences? What teams have foiled them, and how?
Better yet, don't just TELL me, SHOW me! Show every other football fan in America who yearns to learn. Give me looped plays and fire-up the laser pointer. I know that the players in the NFL positively HATE meetings and film study.
As fans, would LOVE it!
(Note: If NFL players hate THEIR meetings, maybe they should try coming to one of our "Corporate Team Building Meetings" instead. Whoooo-whee!)
While Jim Mora was right about the NFL being unknowable to fans and media who never played, it's pathetic how little is being done to help us idiots get a better grip. And don't say that they would never allow the 11-on-11 film to go public because coaches are paranoid and don't want other people picking up tendencies.
Please.
The opposing teams in the NFL get that "All-22" film anyhow, so it's not like we at home are going to crack the code on Bill Belichick's defense.
We just want to know what Jim Mora meant.
Steve is a native Washingtonian and has worked in sports talk radio for the last 11 years. He worked at WTEM in 1993 anchoring Team Tickers before he took a full time job with national radio network One-on-One Sports.
A graduate of UC Santa Barbara, Steve has worked for WFNZ in Charlotte where his afternoon show was named "Best Radio Show." Steve continues to serve as a sports personality for WLZR in Milwaukee and does fill-in hosting for Fox Sports Radio.
