A sad, strange week in Titletown

Football is a game. Family is life.

That point was never truer than the last four days at 1265 Lombardi Ave. in Green Bay. For within the walls of one of sport's finest shrines, despite the most important football game to be played there in four years on Sunday, the focus was not squarely on the contest but rather the tragic death of Michael Philbin, the 21-year old son of Packers offensive coordinator Joe Philbin.

"It was a punch in the heart that lets you know reality," Packers head coach Mike McCarthy emotionally said Wednesday. After pausing for more than seven seconds to compose himself (which may have seemed like seven minutes to the normally stoic McCarthy), he continued. "It lets everybody know how fortunate we are to be where we are."

Condolences poured in from all corners of the NFL, including from New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin, who is preparing his team for Sunday's game at Lambeau Field.

"Our heart goes out to the Philbin family," Coughlin said. "When we first heard this the other night, the whole coaching staff, the room went absolutely silent. Many guys know Joe Philbin. You have tremendous empathy, but you can't anywhere near have the feeling that his family's going through. Just, just tragic. The sympathy of the Giant organization goes out to the Philbin family."

Philbin is not expected to re-join the Packers in time for Sunday's game, as he has been away from the team all week long dealing with his family tragedy. "Joe Philbin is where he's supposed to be," McCarthy said. "Frankly, Joe and I haven't even talked about his responsibility — and will not. He's with his family and he'll return when he feels he's ready to return."

Michael Philbin's funeral will be Friday, with many from the organization expected to pay their respects to their grieving coach.

"I don't know the right words to say to him to try and comfort him," quarterback Aaron Rodgers said. "I have zero experience and have never really dealt with anything like this before. I have never been to a funeral in my life, knock on wood. So this is a tough time."

How different people react to different tragedies is part of what makes us human. Perhaps the most famous example in football lore took place the evening of Dec. 22, 2003, when Brett Favre had the best game of his career the night after his father, Irvin, died of a heart attack. Then-coach Mike Sherman gave his star quarterback the option of going back to Mississippi or playing.

Of course, Favre's decision to play, and his 399 yards passing with four touchdowns only helped cement his legend. After the game was over, he told reporters, "I knew that my dad would have wanted me to play. I love him so much and I love this game. It's meant a great deal to me, to my dad, to my family, and I didn't expect this kind of performance. But I know he was watching tonight."

The notion of a loved one watching from up above has always been a comforting thought to the grieving. Of course, that also cuts to the core of one's own belief system. But it is always much different when an adult child loses a parent than the other way around. If one of Favre's daughters had died unexpectedly, rather than be a hero to Packers Nation had he played, Favre would have been reviled at that time as an unfeeling cad. For many, that distinction did not happen until his pathetic and feeble attempt at wooing Jenn Sterger became public years later.

But it was Favre's father that died. Irvin Favre was Brett's high school coach. He was the one that taught his son the game of football. He was without question an old-school, gruff head of the family. When Brett Favre said that his father would have wanted him to play, most people that knew Irvin on any level readily agreed.

But Brett Favre isn't the only one to have turned in such a performance in the wake of a tragedy. During the 2010 Winter Olympics, Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette had the greatest performance of her career two days after her mother died of a massive heart attack while in Vancouver to see her daughter compete. Rochette won Bronze for her performance.

In 1988, West Allis native Dan Jansen competed in the Calgary Olympics the day his sister, Jane, died after a long bout with leukemia. Of course, Jansen fell twice during that Olympiad, and returned home with no medals, but the respect and admiration of the world on sport's biggest stage.

Last April 27, University of Alabama football player Carson Tinker was badly hurt during the F-4 tornado that ripped through Tuscaloosa. He was taking shelter in a house closet, desperately holding on to his girlfriend, Ashley Harrison, when 190 mph winds ripped the house to shreds. Tinker survived his injuries and played Monday night in the Crimson Tide's 21-0 win over TCU in the BCS National Championship Game. His heart, however, was with Ashley, 22, who was killed in the storm.

Sunday, the supposed natural order of the Philbin family world was rocked when Michael disappeared while visiting friends in Oshkosh. When a body was recovered from the Fox River near the UW-Oshkosh campus, the entire Packers organization hoped for the best, but prepared for the worst.

From a life perspective, it does not get any worse than losing a child. However, as crass as it may be to be focusing on football, that is the business at hand this week. The brass reality is that the NFL will not postpone a playoff game for a death in the family. In other words, as hard as it is for the Philbin family, life goes on for everyone else, even if Philbin's duties have been distributed among the rest of the offensive assistant coaches and McCarthy himself.

"It really goes in line with the family-first philosophy," McCarthy said. "Everybody's feeling it. There's no question on what level. That's really for the individual to speak on. But professionally, I've been very pleased with what we've been able to accomplish. We had a very productive day Monday with everything going on on Monday."

But that isn't to say that hearts are not heavy this week at Lambeau Field. In so many ways, because of the time spent between players and coaches, bonds form. Players and coaches become familiar with each other's families. Sometimes those bonds extend to the point of namesakes and God parenthood. To that end, once the news was broken to the players, the usual media availability was abruptly cancelled so players would not have to answer questions about what they had just been told.

It is not a stretch to say that when one member of a football organization is hurting, those around him are hurting as well. It may not be immediate family; but Joe Philbin has spent countless hours getting his offensive players as good as they can be. The proof is in the results. This season, the Packers were the most efficient offense in football. And while Mike McCarthy is the team's play caller, Joe Philbin was his right-hand man.

After all, there is a reason other teams were interviewing Philbin last week for their head coaching vacancies. This week, the vacancy will be Packers players not having one of their trusted confidants with them for their most important game of the season, as he comes to grips with the cruelest fate that can befall a human being.

"We miss Joe, obviously," Rodgers said. "We miss his presence. We miss his friendship. We miss his coaching."