Most moviegoers admit that summer movies this year have been disappointing to say the least. Somehow Hollywood seems to have completely forgotten how to make movies that are fun and diverting for a couple of hours. This year they have bombarded audiences with one mind-numbingly-stupid film after another.
That said, movie fans have been hoping and praying that director Tim Burton's ("Batman," "Sleepy Hollow") update of "Planet of the Apes" would be the season's saving grace. After all, Burton is an extremely talented director capable of creating mesmerizing films. If anyone could pull off an interesting summer movie, you would think it would be him.
But it wasn't meant to be. "Planet of the Apes" is yet another big budget, slick and well-oiled rehash straight from the Hollywood garage.
Calvin Klein model and pants-dropper turned movie star Mark Wahlberg ("The Perfect Storm") is in full hero mode as Captain Leo Davidson. Leo works for the Air Force on a station in outer space in the year 2029. He dreams of being a pilot but instead trains monkeys to fly.
When his ship encounters an electromagnetic storm, Leo's favorite monkey is sent to investigate, making sure it's safe for humans. But he gets in trouble, so Leo hops in a little spacecraft and chases after him. He too runs into trouble, gets caught in the storm and then is thrust thousands of years into the future before crashing on an unknown planet.
Leo escapes the wreckage of his ship and tries to figure out where he is. Before he can do this, a small group of humans rush past him, obviously running for their lives. They are being chased by apes.
The apes are much too fast and agile for Leo and the rest of the humans, and they are all captured. They will be enslaved, just like all the other humans the apes come across.
Leo is going to put up a fight though. He doesn't know where he is or how the talking apes became rulers of humans. He just wants to get back to his ship, make contact with his people and get rescued.
Along for the ride is a small group of humans and apes, including Ari (Helena Bonham Carter), an ape who sympathizes with the humans and is strongly against the way they are treated. She also happens to have the hots for Leo.
Surprisingly, "Planet of the Apes" is never that involving. It's moderately entertaining for the most part and it's not awful, but it never really grabs you. None of the characters are well developed and it's difficult to care about any of them, which kills any chance for suspense.
The movie also lacks a sense of wonder and mystery. There is no build up and the apes are introduced very early. It would have been better to keep them off screen for as long as possible. Yes, we've seen the previews and we know what they look like, but they're still introduced too soon. There is no sense of dread and there should have been.
Wahlberg, so good in "The Yards" and "Boogie Nights," looks a little disinterested here. He doesn't have the strong physical presence required of an action hero and it's hard to believe the apes would have much trouble with him.
Burton, an expert with offbeat material, does a paint by the numbers job here. There's some humor thrown in here and there, but the movie isn't the slightest bit risky or edgy. If Burton's name wasn't in the opening credits, you wouldn't believe he directed it.
Much like the original, there's a twist ending, but it's not shocking. It's actually quite laughable. Regardless, it's too little too late. "Planet of the Apes" is standard summer fare. No worse and certainly no better.
Grade: C
"Planet of the Apes" opens everywhere July 27.
