Welcome to Saturday Scorecard, a place to hang out while the drinks cool down, the grill heats up and the vuvuzelas get ready for their last gasp.

On to the notes...

I honestly did not think it was possible.

At some point while watching that contrived, nationally-televised exercise in self-aggrandizement on Thursday night, I actually began to feel sorry for LeBron James.

I know he's going to make nearly $100 million. He's going to work in an area with tropical weather, beautiful scenery and no state income tax. He's got a chance to write a chapter in the history of the NBA and in pro sports.

And, yet, I still feel sorry for him.

As he sat across from Jim Gray in the director's chair at a Boys and Girls Club in Connecticut, King James didn't look the part of a conniving huckster out to turn a marketing buck.

He looked like a confused and somewhat frightened man-child, trying to exercise control over a life that has been out of control.

King James' move to South Beach could end up being the sports marketing version of New Coke. The clumsy, fawning hour-long reality show. The kiss-me-where-the-sun-don't-shine farewell to his home state. The egregious "welcome" party last night at the Heat home arena, where James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh were handed keys to the city like they were championship rings.

After digesting this -- and almost throwing up -- I tried to figure out who could possibly be a winner in this fiasco.

If he wins a title, James will qualify as a winner. But, it'll be tainted by the notion that he had to join forces with others in order to do it. And, it'll be tougher with most of the sporting public rooting against him.

A friend in the press box Friday night asked me if an athlete had ever suffered such a remarkable plunge in his Q Rating. Other than Tiger Woods, Floyd Landis and Roger Clemens, it's hard to think of any.

Those guys, though, committed what many consider to be immoral acts. All James did was exercise his free agent rights -- in the most ham-handed manner possible.

Did James look comfortable or confident in the self-created spotlight? Not to me, he didn't. The puppet that portrays him in the commercials is more believable.

When James woke up this morning in tropical Miami, he was still the best active player without an NBA title on his resume. After what transpired this week, he can earn a championship and still not be labeled a winner.

There were no winners in this scenario, other than the NBA league office for getting exposure in July and a few front-running South Florida fans and the people who sell them jerseys, T-shirts, chicken wings and beer.

ESPN? The "Worldwide Leader" lost some of its already dwindling credibility as a news organization and cemented its status as a mouthpiece for the stars.

Dan Gilbert? The Cavs owner won fans in and outside of Ohio. He deserved an explanation from King James, but he also could have lowered the boom before LeBron skipped town.

Michael Wilbon? He looked like he wanted to be somewhere else.

Chris Bosh? He'll always be "the other guy."

Chris Broussard? He was on the front edge of the story, but couched his reporting with so many "mights" and "coulds" that he lost some zip. And, his name was attached to the most ridiculous attribution in memory when his bosses claimed that "Chris Broussard has learned from independent sources that LeBron James will announce his decision on a live one-hour special on ESPN."

WELCOME BACK: It was a classy gesture by the Brewers to allow Geoff Jenkins to formally announce his retirement Friday at Miller Park. Jenkins was a solid player for the team for a decade and ranks second on the team's all-time home run list and fourth in RBI.

"I'm still just the hugest fan of the Brewers," he said. "I definitely check them out on a daily basis."

Jenkins cited several Milwaukee moments as among his favorites, but his final game as a Brewer -- Sept. 30, 2007 -- stood out. That's when Ned Yost let him jog to the outfield and then replaced him with a substitute so Jenkins could get an ovation from the fans.

"I always played with a lot of emotion out there," Jenkins said. "It means a lot when the fans get behind you like that. For me, coming off that field was a pretty neat deal and to be able to take a 360 view of the whole thing and wave to the crowd and just kind of take that whole moment in was pretty special to me. It's one of those moments that you just won't forget."

Brewers general manager Doug Melvin will talk to Jenkins in the spring about a role in the organization.

"At some point, you have to decide that it's time to start a new chapter in your life," Jenkins said of his retirement. "Pretty much when your phone doesn't ring anymore; it's time to start a new chapter."

LARRY KING LOUNGE
I'm finding myself rooting for the Netherlands to win the World Cup. Then again, I wore an orange shirt yesterday... It'd be great if Steve Stricker wins the John Deere Classic this weekend. It'd be even better if he competes for the title at the PGA Championship net month... Kudos to the Rangers, who are facing bankruptcy, for snagging Cliff Lee from Seattle. It would have been sickening to see him go to the Bronx... Ryan Braun's game-winning hit on Friday night might be the catalyst he needed to end his lengthy slump. It also might have bought Ken Macha more time in the dugout. It seems unlikely that the Brewers will make a move during the break, but a sweep by the Pirates this weekend would have turned up the heat considerably... Bucks forward Corey Maggette is recovering from ankle surgery. His boss, general manager John Hammond, is looking for a backup point guard. Neither task sounds fun to me. Based on the list of available free agents, I'd say Hammond has it tougher... Congrats to everyone who competed in the Storm the Bastille run on Thursday, including our own Andy Tarnoff, who marked his one-year anniversary of running.