I really wanted to love this restaurant. The concept of naming an eatery after a mammoth gold cow statue earns instant points with this quirk seeker. (Especially once the bartender mentioned the cow had been one of the "Cows on Parade" in New York and purchased on e-bay.) Unfortunately, by the end of the night, our good spirits were milked dry due to unfair service and lukewarm food.

The hour wait for a table would have been understandable -- it was a Friday night and Saint Bessie's Bistro (4515 N. Oakland Ave.) is a hot, relatively new restaurant. And we understood the first time the hostess seated a group who came in after us, considering the party included two small children. (Although a "thank you for your patience" would have been nice.) But when she attempted to seat a group of her friends that had arrived well after we did, it was time to vibe her.

Luckily, she was sensitive to our "excuse me but are we chopped liver?" look and quickly asked her comrades to belly up to the bar so we could sit down.

Eager to enjoy our night out, we forced ourselves to focus on the décor instead. The contrast between the crazy haloed bovine in the front window and the lovely, cozy restaurant makes for an interesting combination, and aside from the cheesy dropped ceiling, the atmosphere is warm and romantic, with luminized, texturized walls, delicate fabric beautifully draped and lots of mirrors. Best of all, the lighting is perfect: dim enough to create ambience, yet plenty of light to comfortably read the menu.

We were, however, befuddled by the brown paper atop the white linen table clothes, and also extremely disappointed in the shockingly bright, marginally clean washrooms.

The prices are fair, with appetizers ranging from $7.95 to $9.95 and dinners priced between $14.95 and $19.95 with even less expensive pizza and sandwich options.

The high point of our meal was the calamari. The huge platter was heaping with perfectly fried, tender squid, dribbled with just enough tart lemon juice and generously sprinkled with fresh basil.

Unfortunately, the dinners, when they finally arrived about a half-hour later, were well-presented but simply not warm enough.

My maple and bourbon glazed salmon, although lukewarm, was very good. The fish was pan seared and topped with roasted carrots, parsnips, cubes of butternut squash, red onions, caramelized peas and cider vinaigrette greens for a surprise of flavors ranging from sweet to tangy.

The chili and garlic rubbed chicken breast was also tasty, but unfortunately, the most in need of a few minutes in the microwave (egads! -ed.). All the same, the nice-sized breast was covered in a delicious poblano, cubenella and banana pepper sauce and rested atop a bed of flavorful andouille sausage and black bean sticky rice cakes.

For the one in our group with the least daring palate, the three-cheese cheeseburger was a safe and delicious choice. Smothered in Swiss, cheddar and Monterrey Jack cheese, the mammoth meat patty came with a heap of crunchy french fries.

Despite our overall disappointment, we will consider giving the benevolent bovine another chance. After all, our unenlightening experience could have been the fault of a full moon or an off night for the staff and those Mahi-Mahi tacos looked darn good.