By Andy Tarnoff Publisher Published Jun 27, 2007 at 1:16 PM

I’m dry now, but five minutes ago I was the wettest I have ever been in my whole life.  Let me put this another way: I would not have been more wet had you thrown me in Lake Michigan.

See, I decided to ignore the warnings from the weather people this morning and drive my scooter to work today.  They never seem to be accurate when I need them to be, and besides, when I stepped outside this morning it was hot, sunny and dry.

Which made for a great ride into work.  Driving past Summerfest, up Lincoln Memorial Drive, I felt cool and refreshed by the time I got to our East Side office.

But today was my day to let the dog out, which meant, by hook or by crook, I was getting back to Bay View around lunch time.

About 10 minutes before I strapped on my helmet, one of my programmers warned me that big-time rain was coming.  He showed me the radar. I scoffed.

Just as soon as I pulled out of the parking lot, it started coming down.

I said, out loud, to no one in particular, “I don’t think the heavy stuff is coming down for a while,” which is a quote from “Caddyshack,” of course.

However, my inside joke to myself turned out to be an omen.  By the time I snaked down to Lincoln Memorial, I was driving through a full-blown squall.

At 30 miles per hour, by the way, driving wind and rain at your face feels even more powerful.  And if you’re not too familiar with the lakefront, there aren’t exactly ample opportunities to pull over.

Finally, I made it Summerfest and stopped under the entrance to the Hoan Bridge, approximately in front of mid-gate entrance.  There, I wrung out my soaked clothing and shot the breeze with another biker who was seeking shelter from the storm.  And just to prove my sheer lunacy for going out for a scooter ride during a summer monsoon, I asked him to shoot a quick photo of me.  I’m even more wet than it looks in this picture, and it was raining much harder.  I don’t make this stuff up.

When the rain died down, I started the last half of my ride.  I thought the sun was even starting to come out, but by the time I passed 1st and National, the second wave of the storm was pounding the crap out of me.  At least this time I was scooting more slowly, so the driving force of the rain wasn’t so painful on my face.

But in a funny way, I found myself actually smiling a little.  I enjoyed the looks on passing motorists’ faces, as they gasped in horror when they spotted my thoroughly soaked frame on this little Italian scooter.  But once I got used to being wet, the splashing of the other cars, the puddles, the insane downpour – it was actually pretty fun.

Hey, at least it wasn’t snowing.

I mean, it’s just rain, and it’s summer.  It could be worse.  Summerfest could be underway and be rained out.  It could be cold.  The scooter could be my only vehicle, and I’d have to go through this on a regular basis.

I really, honestly, love Milwaukee in the summer.

Of course, when I finally got home, the dog refused to go out.  She looked at me with this sort of, “No way am I going out in that rain, Dad” look.

And of course, as I finish typing this blog,  I look out the window, and it has completely stopped raining.  And the dog is standing by the door waiting for me to let her outside.
 

Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.

Before launching OnMilwaukee.com in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.

Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.