Congratulations, Netflix! You didn't suck as bad as you thought you would!

Indeed, the big news around the Big Red Streaming Monolith this month was the service's recent earnings report, where the company announced it didn't lose two million subscribers as originally feared. No, it only lost a million which ... is technically better, I guess? Still sounds like a hemorrhage to me – especially in a quarter where Netflix had a double dose of its biggest hit, "Stranger Things," to help buoy the numbers. But losing the most subscribers in a single quarter in the company's history didn't stop its head honchos from celebrating and proclaiming victory over all other media. Some real "just a flesh wound" vibes from this place. 

Anyways, while Netflix does its best to convince itself and others 'tis just a scratch, at least their new arrivals in August are pretty solid – starting with its latest batch of originals, including a new Mark Wahlberg/Kevin Hart buddy comedy, a "Selling Sunset" spinoff, a new day-glo vampire actioner starring Jamie Foxx and the much anticipated adaptation of "The Sandman."

And, of course, because this is streaming, there's plenty of new true crime and scandal docs, from another batch of "Untold" episodes – including one on the Manti Te'o fake girlfriend debacle – to a doc about rich wildman John McAfee and a series about the mess that was Woodstock '99. Wait, wasn't there just a doc about that festival gone wrong recently? Yep! Netflix means innovation! Whatever, this isn't simply a Netflix issue; there's no dead horse the streaming scandal pipeline won't pummel into ratings. 

Some of the most exciting additions to the Big Red Streaming Monolith's library, however, will come from outside the company. (Just what Netflix likes to hear!) Blockbusters like "Men in Black," "Spider-Man," "Skyfall" and "Constantine" will mosey their way to the streaming service, along with critically lauded pictures like "The Town" and "Eyes Wide Shut." For some much needed laughs, Netflix scored comedy icons like "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," "Bridget Jones's Diary," "Miss Congeniality" and "The Nice Guys" in August. And if you're desperate for basketball's return, you can get your fix with "Love & Basketball" and "Space Jam."

That's just a handful of the movies and TV shows arriving in August – so with no further ado, here's the full list. 

Aug. 1

"28 Days"

"8 Mile"

"Above the Rim"

"The Age of Adaline"

"Battle: Los Angeles"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Big Tree City"

"Bridget Jones's Baby"

"Bridget Jones's Diary"

"Constantine"

"Dinner for Schmucks"

"Eyes Wide Shut"

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

"Footloose"

"Hardcore Henry"

"Legends of the Fall"

"Love & Basketball"

"Made of Honor"

"Men in Black"

"Men in Black II"

"Men in Black 3"

"Miss Congeniality"

"Monster-in-Law"

"No Strings Attached"

"Pawn Stars" season 13

"Polly Pocket" season 4 part 2

"She's Funny That Way"

"Space Jam"

"Spider-Man"

"Spider-Man 2"

"Spider-Man 3"

"Top Gear" seasons 29-30

"The Town"

"Woman in Gold"

Aug. 2

"Flight"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Ricardo Quevedo: Tomorrow Will Be Worse"

Aug. 3

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Buba"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Clusterf*ck: Woodstock '99"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Don't Blame Karma"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Good Morning, Veronica" season 2

Aug. 4

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Lady Tamara"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Kakegurui Twin"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Super Giant Robot Brothers"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Wedding Season"

Aug. 5

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Carter"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Darlings"

"The Informer"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Sandman"

"Skyfall"

Aug. 6

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Reclaim"

Aug. 7

"Riverdale" season 6

Aug. 8

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Code Name: Emperor"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Team Zenko Go" season 2

Aug. 9

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "I Just Killed My Dad"

"The Nice Guys"

Aug. 10

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Bank Robbers: The Last Great Heist"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Heartsong"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Indian Matchmaking" season 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Instant Dream Home"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Iron Chef Brazil"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Locke & Key" season 3

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "School Tales The Series"

Aug. 11

"Dope"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "DOTA: Dragon's Blood" season 3

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Stay on Board: The Leo Baker Story"

Aug. 12

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "13: The Musical"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "A Model Family"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Day Shift"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Never Have I Ever" season 3

Aug. 15

"Ancient Aliens" season 4

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Deepa & Anoop"

"Learn to Swim"

Aug. 16

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Untold" season 2 (new installments weekly)

Aug. 17

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "High Heat"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Junior Baking Show" season 6

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Look Both Ways"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Royalteen"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Unsuspicious"

Aug. 18

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe" season 3

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Inside the Mind of a Cat"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Tekken: Bloodline"

Aug. 19

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Cuphead Show!" season 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Echoes"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Girl in the Mirror"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Glow Up" season 4

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Kleo"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Next 365 Days"

Aug. 20

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Fullmetal Alchemist: The Revenge of Scar"

Aug. 21

"A Cowboy's Song"

Aug. 23

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Chad and JT Go Deep"

Aug. 24

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Lost Ollie"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Mo"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Queer Eye: Brazil"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Running with the Devil: The Wild World of John McAfee"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Selling the OC"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Under Fire"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Watch Out, We're Mad"

Aug. 25

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Angry Birds: Summer Madness" season 3

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "History 101" season 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Rilakkuma's Theme Park Adventure"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "That's Amor"

Aug. 26

"Disobedience"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Drive Hard: The Maloof Way"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Loving Adults"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Ludik"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Me Time"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Seoul Vibe"

Aug. 29

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Mighty Express" season 7

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Under Her Control"

Aug. 30

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "I Am A Killer" season 3

Aug. 31

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Club America vs. Club America"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Family Secrets"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "I Came By"