It's winter in Wisconsin and I've decided this season truly belongs to couples. (Or at least people that like to snuggle or "roast their chestnuts on an open fire" if you know what I mean.)
It's easy to be single during summer. It's a hot, sexy time of year and it feels like singles come out of the woodwork during the warm months in the Midwest. But during winter, we prefer to hibernate and spend cold nights warming our feet under the covers with someone and a salad bowl full of mistletoe.
I'm not a cold-weather person. I've been bitching about the cold since I realized there were places in the world where it's summer all year long. While they all look forward to a winter wonderland, I start counting down the days to spring the moment the temperatures start to drop. I'm also very susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder, which doesn't help matters. I need those long summer days to be a functional human being. Waking up in the dark and driving home from work in the dark is just too damn depressing.
All that aside, even I can see the upsides of the chill. It's a very romantic time of year. There is something mysterious and magical about snow falling, the soft glow of holiday lights and the smell of fires in the fireplace. Snuggling in 85 degree, 97 percent humidity summer weather doesn't have the same sweetness that curling up under a blanket while the wind howls outside does.
I tend to be far less social when it's cold out. It's harder to convince yourself to get all dolled up and hit up the town in six-inch heels when there's an 85 percent chance you'll break an ankle on a patch of ice. (I still do it, but I don't like my odds!) That said, I've grown up and gotten smarter as I've gotten older.
In college, my friends and I would nearly freeze to death walking to house parties in the dead of winter because we didn't want to get stuck wearing a coat over our tiny little outfits. Nothing like a little frostbite to get a guy's attention.
This time of year, you can use the flu as an excuse to stay home in your footie pajamas and no one will question you. Of course, this is also the time of year when you'll likely really get the flu and your cutie will end up needing to wear a surgical mask to get within fifteen feet of you.
By January, I've usually decided I want to bring a Saint Bernard with one of those little liquor barrel collars everywhere I go. But like always, just as we're all about to go stir crazy, the snow banks turn to mud puddles and the wind starts to smell like dirt, a sure sign of Spring. This season belongs to the 'birds and bees.' So maybe Spring is the sexiest season.
In the meantime, here are my top 10 sexiest things about winter: (in no particular order)
- Mistletoe.
- Getting snowed in with your honey and a bottle of wine (or two)!
- Turning up the furnace and lounging around in your Roos.
- Going for a brisk walk in the cold for that naturally rosy cheek look. (Just beware of snotsicles.)
- Little sweater dresses.
- Hot chocolate with Bailey's.
- Being a snow bunny.
- Using the cold as an ideal excuse to get closer to someone.
- Vacations to Mexico.
- Getting to wear your winter wardrobe after six months. (I love coats and scarves!)
No, the OnMilwaukee.com sex columnist's real name is not Sarah Foster. (Foster is the model/actress that played an ex-lover of Vincent Chase in the first season of "Entourage.") In reality, our sex columnist is a Wisconsin native with a degree in journalism and a knack for getting people to talk to her.
Sarah never considered herself an "above average" listener. Others, however, seem to think differently. Perhaps she has a sympathetic tone or expression that compels people to share their lives and secrets with her despite how little they know her. Everyone from the girl that does her hair to people in line at the grocery store routinely spill the details of their lives and relationships to Sarah, unprompted but typically not unwanted. It’s strange to her that people would do this, but she doesn’t mind. Sarah likes that she can give advice even if it is to complete strangers.
So why the pseudonym? Simple. People tell Sarah these things because for some reason they trust her. They believe she cares and therefore will keep their secrets in a locked vault the same way a best friend or therapist would. Sarah won't name names, but that vault is now unlocked.